Project Runway's Malan Breton, Cultural Aesthete

malan bretonCommenting on another’s blog remains a snotty diatribe akin to reading someone’s diary and whispering the details behind curled fingers at the prom. Except that blogs aren’t a book of secrets with a silver lock and key, and cyberspace is not an empty gymnasium filled with ambient music and papier mache. Yet, in both locales, people want to know dirt. Online, people are either addicted or lazy, so it is in this spirit of obsessive-compulsive passivity (have I coined a new term?) that I offer my
insights on the blog of Malan Breton, wunderkind designer of Project Runway 3.

If you’re not familiar with Mr. Breton’s pedigree, his blog will do nothing to illuminate this dilemma. Is he gay? Is he German? Is he putting us on? At least one of those quandaries should be to the affirmative. As Tim Gunn warned us in the “Road to the Runway” casting special, Breton auditioned thrice, entering initially as a ennui-OD’d performance artist (though, in New York, one can urinate in a can of Rockstar and make the cut; Laurie Anderson would be so chagrined), then offended Gunn and his posse of Vogue demigogues before turning them down (wait, they wanted him after that? Vogue really IS for straight women!). Still, Kors and crew know a thing or two about marketing: bitchy sells, but weird bitchy sells bigger.

Breton has big dreams: “I have suddenly thought of something I want to work with Baz Lurhmann (on): maybe he could direct one of my shorts or better yet he could direct and produce my show at Paris couture, what an amazing dream to work towards.” Yes, Baz Luhrmann wants to work with you, Malan Breton. First of all, google his name if you’re unsure of the spelling. If you want his attention, this is sort of obvious from an employment standpoint. Secondly, I’m fairly certain Baz and his production designer wife Catherine Martin have found their niche together over the past decade and aren’t starved for inspiration, but do go on: “I am sitting watching Moulin Rouge perhaps the most brilliant display of art, colour an orgasm for the senses, etc.” Yes, yes. Thank God you fell short at etcetera. “I remember after 9-11 having nothing not even a job, my grandmother (my best friend ) had died, and seeing this film and realising that if i put my mind to it i could accomplish what I set out to.” His nana was his best friend. Enough said: “They say we only use 5 percent of our brains potential, try to learn something new every day, I speak seven languages, I learned to dance , sing, act , to sew, design, play piano, tuba, flute, and violin, write, photography, I learned it all by being aware of what was around me, taking chances. Never be afraid to talk about what your doing with anyone and everyone, its called networking.”

Still, after achieving all he had, Malan Breton gave up his cater-waiter job and dove headlong into the vast cesspool that is reality fashion television, willing to wend his way like those pioneers George Hamilton, Liberace, and Halston did before him! And without a spellchecker, no less! Mein Gott! Sincerely, after all these digs, it’s really the textural orgasm of Malan Breton’s couture that impells me to laud his name. After all, the internet is not where we find knowledge or even information, so much as it is a fodder mill for third-hand rumor reported through the proper gauzy gaze. That’s how Baz would see it. After all, it’s so much to do nowadays with networking.

Related – Project Runway Recap: Season 3 Premiere

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Posted by regan on July 18th 2006 | Home Page | 7 Comments Subscribe to this site's feed

7 Responses

  1. Katie Says:

    I was disappointed to see Milan leave already on the second episode. I think he has a lot of talent and I would have liked to see his work in the upcoming challenges.

  2. regan Says:

    Katie,

    I quite agree, although I must say the hem on that chocolate disaster wouldn’t have walked out of my mother’s room, much less onto the Miss Universe stage. It was a bit of a nightmare. You know they just kept Angela and Vincent on for the crazy arguments to come. I was looking forward to pan-frying Malan some more, but I’m certain we haven’t heard the last of him!

  3. Sanette Says:

    Hi Malan, im writning to you all the way from Sweden. I recently watched the second episode of PR and I must say; I was completly devistated. You have so much talent and wonderfull visions. (you’re alsp very handsome) I wish you the best of luck!

  4. Karin Says:

    Hej Malan!

    A swedish hello, to say that You are a great man, already an artist. You don´t need any competitions. The judge are too conservative and simply heading in one direction.
    You will go far with your creations ,they just didn´t give you the chance.
    I will be happy to see You and your work in the future, which is now!!!
    Many hugs from me and my twoo little girls.

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